On Rejection: It goes both ways

       At my school, we have a Facebook page where people can submit anonymous stories about people they've seen around - it's used primarily to either compliment people and give a shoutout, or to criticize someone doing something socially unacceptable (eg. taking up 3 seats with their belongings on a crowded bus).
       When it's the former, I constantly see instances where, for example, a guy has submitted a post saying he saw a pretty girl but he's too shy to approach her/didn't have the time to do so, and other people on the page will comment and tell him to 'stop being a wimp and go talk to her! Girls like it when people approach them!'. I've seen this same kind of thing when a girl has mentioned noticing a cute guy too, but it's more frequently the other way around.

       And speaking as a girl, I have the following to say:

       Not all of us like the random dude walking up to us and complimenting us. (This is not referring to catcalling, that's a whole other issue I'll address later). Some of us, like me, are shy or have social anxiety and don't like being singled out in public. That's not the fault of the guy/girl doing the approaching, it's just a fact and isn't true for everyone, but is true for enough people that it should still be kept in mind.
       Now, on to the next problem: the rejection. When an approach is shot down or not received well, it's usually considered the fault of the approachee. They're considered too judgmental or rude, or heaven forbid, 'shallow'. But that's not usually the case, it actually hinges on three things:

1) The person making the approach. Yes, while it is unfortunate, it is possible that the person approaching is not the right 'type' for, or not considered attractive by, the person they're trying to talk to. HOWEVER, before dismissing girls as 'bitchy' or 'stuck-up' because of this, consider the following scenario.
       If a girl is hypothetically more likely to be receptive to a good-looking, well-dressed guy coming up to talk to her than someone who's not her type, or really grungy-looking, SO WHAT? Unless they act disgusted by your appearance like Cher from Clueless, it's not shallow for them to say they're simply not attracted to someone.

       Besides, guys do the exact same thing. Think about it this way: How many times in a movie or TV show has a guy been 'embarrassed' because some 'nerdy', awkward girl has a crush on him? And nobody ever questions his reaction. Yet, if it was an attractive, 'popular' girl showing him the same attention, he'd be interested, or at the very least flattered. The rejection only comes because he perceives that first girl as 'beneath' him, and therefore their attempts are seen as 'creepy', 'desperate', and unwanted. It's a total double standard. (And then there's that Cinderella-moment where the nerd girl is revealed to actually be gorgeous beneath her glasses and baggy clothing, yadda yadda ugh).

I'm just gonna leave this here...

       The genders in this situation can be reversed (or made the same) and it's just as true. I'm not saying this is okay, or that this is the way things should be, or that nerds aren't worthy of love (as one, I feel very strongly about this!) I'm just saying that everyone is equally guilty of this kind of reaction, myself regrettably included. But as I said before, this is by no means the only reason for rejection. So if you get rejected, it's probably because of one of the other two reasons - and even if it is this one, I'm sure there is someone out there whose type you definitely are, or who is at least compassionate enough to give you a chance rather than rejecting you outright.

2) Their mood. This is a big one. The same person on a different day may have a totally different reaction. Try to judge the situation first. If they're on their own - Do they look relaxed and approachable? Or do they look tense and grumpy?? This should be a no-brainer. Are they hurrying somewhere? If so, then probably don't interrupt them, because they're less likely to respond favourably if they need to get somewhere and you're holding them up.
       Are they with other people? Often this is a moot point, because people don't like approaching large groups. But even if you're fine with it, this may make the other person uncomfortable or embarrassed because they're being singled out in front of their friends. And please don't approach anyone with a large group of your own friends standing with you/looking on. This only serves to make the object of your attention more uncomfortable, like they're being ambushed. Even in front of total strangers - please don't follow them down the hall, or be like some guy that stood in front of my friend while she was clearly on the phone, as an attempt to get her attention. Have some manners.

3) Above all, this is about how you approach them. Pick-up lines are immature and stupid.

Even this one is borderline-weird. EVEN THIS ONE.

       If you think someone is attractive, tell them that, be straightforward, and be sincere. Don't act like you think you're doing them a favour by noticing them. Don't make creepy sexual-innuendo jokes. And don't yell at them from a distance, because that's embarrassing for them too (and will embarrass you if they shut you down). So go up to them, maintaining a respectable distance, but close enough that everyone in the room can't hear you. Sound complicated? It's really not. If you give someone a genuine compliment in a respectful manner, it might make their day better. Or you might at least make a new friend if they're not interested in you romantically.
    
       I'm going to use myself as an example. When I was in first year, I was alone, going down a crowded staircase, and some dude walking past me up the stairs yelled after me, "Hey miss, excuse me!" I turned around, thinking I might have dropped something. He then asked me "Do I know you?" and I said no, because I was new to the area and I also have a very good memory for faces, and didn't recognize him. After asking me if I was sure, he asked where I was from. When I told him I was from a city far away from our school, he then asked where I was living. A little creeped out at this point, I told him the name of one of the residence buildings I didn't live in, and when he asked what room, I then told him I was late for meeting a friend (which was partly true) and started to leave. Then he asked if he could 'call me sometime'. I basically just yelled 'No thanks!' and ran down the stairs.
         Now, I'll be the first to admit that this guy was not someone I would have been attracted to. But that wasn't really the problem. If a cute guy had shouted after me the same way, or asked the same personal questions, I promise you I would have had the same reaction. It wasn't that I found him unattractive, it was the fact that he was shouting down the stairwell from a landing above me, where there were tons of random people around to see and hear us (I didn't particularly want them knowing where I lived, either!). And as my friend put it when I told her, he basically just 'stopped me and then proceeded to interrogate me', which came across as both creepy and awkward. He didn't introduce himself, provide any reason for wanting to know where I lived, and I was pretty sure he was lying about recognizing me, too. In addition to all that, as mentioned earlier, I am pretty shy about meeting new people and hate being put on the spot. So even though I had every right to be uncomfortable, I felt like I didn't know what to say and probably would have turned bright red had the interaction gone on any longer.
        If the same guy had come up to me in a more low-key manner, such as while I was sitting in the cafeteria, introduced himself and tried to start a conversation (rather than just asking me a list of questions), I would have been much more likely to talk to him politely, in spite of my shyness. If I still didn't want to continue the conversation further, I would have felt comfortable enough - comfortable being the key word here - to let him down tactfully and discreetly, instead of just shouting 'no!' and running away. Which may or may not have embarrassed him - I really don't know (and to be frank, I don't much care).

       And above all, if you are rejected, remember to be nice about it. The rejection may hurt, but turning around and being rude right back definitely isn't going to make your situation any better. It's totally okay to mumble something like 'sorry to bother you/thank you for your time' and slink away (but DON'T expect them to chase after you and change their mind). It's also totally okay to make some kind of self-depreciating joke to diffuse the tension (just don't insult them too, or make it sound like a guilt-trip). And for Pete's sake, respect their decision. Don't question it, especially if they tell you they have a significant other/don't swing your way. That quickly becomes annoying and rude. If they simply don't give you a reason, don't try to beg/coerce them to change their mind. That's a little sad. If they were polite to you, return the favour. If not, be the bigger person. They probably won't change their mind after the fact, but at least they likely won't think ill of you later if you handle it gracefully.

       To those (both girls and guys) who are on the receiving end of genuine, benign, unwanted attention - try to be nice too. (Obviously, if you really feel uncomfortable, social niceties should not be your first concern). But if they're harmless enough and you're really just not interested, let them down gently, say something like 'sorry' and don't make a big deal out of it. If they still call you a 'jerk' or a 'bitch' for rejecting them, that's their problem, not yours (and it's a good thing you didn't get involved with them!).

As for catcalls? I think I'll let Jessica Williams handle this one...
 

On changes and chances

If there is one life lesson I learned from working in a clothing store for three years (aside from the obvious-but-important rule 'always be nice to retail workers'), it is that nothing is permanent. Sales end, that cute shirt you were thinking about buying won't be there tomorrow, and employees come and go.
Life is a lot like that too. Our friends and family might seem like they're constantly around right now, but that won't always be the case. People die. People move away. People gradually get distant from you until the point where you have to think for a second to remember their face when you see their name on your Facebook feed. And it sucks.
There are so many reasons that it's painful, not the least of which are all the missed opportunities. If you don't tell someone how much they really mean to you, or you make 'someday' plans with them that never end up happening. You know the type - "We were gonna to watch that movie together someday." "We were going to go on this trip." "We were gonna try out that restaurant... But we never did". And then we sit around after the opportunity has passed us by, and think about the what-ifs. Meanwhile, we're missing even more opportunities while we're feeling sad. You know, 'Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.'
I've never been good with change. I've been that way my whole life. One example I can think of would be when I graduated elementary school - as miserable as I'd been there, I cried nearly every day that summer because I was scared of high school and I knew I would miss the familiarity and the closeness of my class group (albeit a class group that didn't like me).
Moving on from high school was even more difficult, because that was a place I'd actually felt comfortable, gained self-confidence and friends who loved and accepted me. I took a fifth year and many of my friends didn't, so that was an awkward transition phase because I was in a familiar place, but I was alone. However, I think it also kind of helped me move on, because I knew that wasn't where I belonged anymore.
Places change.

My grandpa grew up in a tiny town in Northern Ontario. When I was about twelve, my family and I went camping up there, and my grandpa took us on a tour. Practically everything he pointed out was something that was no longer there. "This was where the baseball diamond used to be." "That used to be my elementary school, it's a nursing home now." It seemed funny at the time, and the 'used-to-be' tour has become kind of an inside joke in our family, but it really makes me sad when I think about it. I'm only twenty, and so many places that held some significance for me as a child are already gone or different. I can't bear to think about how much will vanish in the years to come. And it also makes me think - if the old places and people are replaced with new ones, and we don't leave our mark on the new ones like we did the old, have we made an impact on anything?
Even my home changed a lot when I went away for school. My sisters had shared a room their whole lives, but when I moved out, one of them got my old room, and I got a bed in the corner of my mom's office downstairs. A lot of the time when I got homesick, I was longing for my old room - I wanted the same ceiling that I stared at for 14 years before going to bed. I wanted my furniture and my stuff placed how it had been for most of my life. But I came back to this place that didn't feel like my home. And as comfortable as I tried to make my residence room, I knew that it was only temporarily mine, so that wasn't really 'home', either. I felt lost.

And speaking of families, how awful is it to have a group - be they coworkers, classmates, or just friends - that you feel incredibly close to, to the point that they're like your surrogate family, and then circumstances change and because you don't see them anymore, nobody even talks to you? That really hurts. It's rejection en masse, and even if it's unintentional it still feels that way. Sometimes we forget people exist if they're not in our face all the time (either in physical proximity, or virtually).
And this may be just my own neurosis, but sometimes I feel like I really want to talk to someone I haven't seen in a while, but I don't because I feel like I'm intruding on their life, and I have no right to be there because we're not that close anymore. Or worse yet, I used to be really close to them and talked every day, but then they got a 'love interest' and suddenly I'm just not important to them anymore. If they've moved on in their lives and I haven't, I'm the one still dwelling in the past, then that's just awkward. They're not missing a little Emily-shaped part of themselves anymore, but I'm still missing them.
It might be true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. People, like songs on the radio, might seem intriguing at first, but then become monotonous if they're in our heads constantly. It takes a few weeks without seeing the people/years without hearing the song to appreciate them again, feel nostalgic, and remember why we liked them in the first place.
I'm not saying we should keep everyone we've ever met around in our lives forever - of course not. If you have poisonous friends, or an abusive partner, then those people need to leave. But you can't help missing the part of them that wasn't mean, and that drew you to them in the first place. I know I wake up every day thanking the world that I don't have to see my elementary-school bullies - even if they did make me laugh from time to time.
It's the people I never intentionally separated from, the ones that just drifted away, the ones I used to share secrets and inside jokes with but then one day I look around and they're just not there, that make me really sad. Because try as I might - even if I happen to run into them randomly, or work up the courage to message them and ask how they are - we might suggest the 'someday' plan of meeting up for coffee, or even actually do it, and then too much is different. They're not the same people I knew years ago, because time has changed them. I'm sure they're sitting across the table from me thinking that I'm not the same person, either.

We ourselves change as a result of our experiences and interactions with others, either through a conscious decision or a gradual adjustment. But the thing is, we're constantly unhappy with at least one aspect of ourselves. Which leads to a (not always successful) attempt to change who we are. But we also look back constantly - 'I used to be so much skinnier/happier/more dedicated to school' and we wish we could get back what we'd had. And we forget that at the time when we were supposedly skinnier/happier etc., we were probably trying to change something else that we didn't like. Why can't we just like ourselves the way we are? Why are we constantly feeling ashamed of our emotions and our quirks and our habits? Unless those habits hurt other people (in which case we need to try hard as we can to earn their forgiveness, but you already knew that) then why aren't they just fine? It's kind of silly, when you think about it, the endless circles we go in of being hard on ourselves, and then going 'ugh, I hate how hard I am on myself'.
As we grow up, we also lose the sense of innocence we once had. There's no universal time this happens for anyone - but once it's gone, there's no getting it back. It's when we stop looking forward to growing up, and start dreading the future. It's when we know what death is, and are afraid of it. It's when we start being more afraid of the big bad world than we are amazed by the big beautiful one. When I was a kid, my dad would take me on day trips to Toronto and we'd take the subway. I always thought it was a magical train that went super fast underground and was bumpy like a roller coaster. Now I notice the stairwell that smells like vomit, or the cigarette butts on the ground, or the guy two rows down who's talking to himself. And I get annoyed by the bumpiness and how long it takes to get from station to station. It's the exact same subway. But I'm not the same little kid.

Our memories, despite being what we cling to when everything's moved on without us, fade too. Or worse yet, they get tainted by the 'knowing what comes next' until we can't enjoy them anymore. Books are comforting in that we can go back and revisit the time or place we miss, from the same vantage point as where we sat the first time we read it. It doesn't change. But even then, our personal experiences may have changed how we react to it. Or if something bad happens, say, a character dies, we are aware of this and can't enjoy them being alive because we're just bracing for the end.
If someone in our real life dies, or leaves us in another sense, every memory of them becomes coloured - however slightly - by the loss we feel at not having them around anymore. Whether they were in our lives for a reason or a season doesn't make us miss them any less.
Our memories, even those that don't involve other people, are an integral part of us, and if we lose them we lose ourselves. I, personally, am an obsessive scrapbooker. My mom is constantly telling me that I can't keep all these papers and cards and articles, that I won't ever have time to sort and organize them at the same rate as they build up. She might be correct about that, but I'm scared to part with anything because then I'm afraid I won't remember it. (I wonder, how many opportunities have I missed out on because I've been sitting in my basement scrapbooking? Let's not go there...)

Like the kid who touches the stove to see if it's hot, we should also remember our mistakes, or we'll be doomed to repeat them (for the record - staying up until 4:00 the night before an 8 a.m. lab, NOT a good idea), but we should also forgive ourselves for making those mistakes - and do our best to learn from them.
We also need to take the time to recognize the significance of the things we take for granted. For example, people hate being stuck in traffic, but as long as I'm not running late for something (my anxiety there is a topic for a whole other blog), I don't mind it. I'm cozy in the car, I have music, and I have the freedom afforded me by a driver's license. In the midst of the traffic, I wouldn't trade any of that for having to walk/bus/bike everywhere.

There's a line from the movie Dazed and Confused which I've always loved, in part because it worded so perfectly a concept I'd always struggled to phrase. A group of people are talking about how everything they do seems like it's in preparation for something, and the one girl says "You know, I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor, insignificant preamble to somethin' else." And she's right! What exactly are we preparing ourselves for, if we're not even learning how to live or enjoy our lives, if we keep missing the opportunities that pass us by? (Who would have thought something so insightful would come from the stoner movie that gave us Matthew McConaughey's 'alright, alright, alright...'.)
We need to make our todays into our 'somedays'. Be a little impulsive - be spontaneous. One of the best decisions I ever made was buying tickets three days before a concert when I found out at the last minute that one of my favourite bands was playing in Toronto. I had an amazing time and I knew it was rare that they'd be in town (they haven't been back since!) so I bought the tickets without even hesitating, and I've never once regretted it. I definitely would have regretted not going.
There have also been many nights where I should have gone to bed, and didn't because I was enjoying spending time with, or talking to, people. Although I was kicking myself the next morning, no doubt, in the long run I've had a lot more worthwhile and memorable conversations at 3 a.m. than I've had memorable dreams. 

So through all this, the changes that I mentioned earlier, that we are so sad about, might not be so bad if we know we did the utmost we could before the change came. To paraphrase the infinite wisdom that is Albus Dumbledore - it does not do to dwell on the past and forget to live in the present. If we make as many happy memories as we possibly can, maybe we won't mind so much if we forget the minor ones. If we spend as much time with the people we love as is physically possible, we won't feel as bad when they eventually leave us. And we'll have more reasons to smile when remembering them, rather than thinking about all the things that 'could have' been. I never again want to start a story with 'well, we were going to do ____' unless it's followed up with 'but then we did _____ instead, and it was SO MUCH MORE AWESOME!!'
Don't sweat the little things. My eighth-grade grad quote (which I can't for the life of me remember the source of) was this: "I wonder how I'll get through life, but I know I'll survive. So I might as well have a little fun and some laughter along the way." So don't stress about what you'll be doing next month or next year. Make sure that you're getting the most joy out of the month or the year you're currently in. Carpe the heck out of that diem.
Take the little chances. Watch that movie. Take that vacation. Try out that restaurant. Work up the courage to talk to that cute guy/girl, and tell the important people just how much they mean to you. Make plans to spend time with them, and then follow through.
In that one sense (and I do mean that once sense ONLY), maybe we should try to be like that kid from We're the Millers and live with 'no ragrets'.
Not even a single letter. :)

On Music (a.k.a. why I can't pick favourites)

Tonight, like most nights, I've been sitting at my computer unable to sleep and bored out of my mind. So when my friend issued me the following challenge on Facebook, I thought it'd be fun:
"List 12 albums that have stayed with you over the years in some way. Don't take too long on this list - just a few minutes. These don't have to be great records, or critical darlings, just ones that mean something to you personally."
         Now, something you should know about me is that I don't have a favourite of anything. Food, movie, TV show, nothing. I refer to my 'favourites' as a collective group, and those groups have sub-categories and filing systems and it's all just very confusing. I'm so indecisive. Everything depends on my mood, and everything has its pros and cons - a balance I'm always very aware of. I'm not saying these are the 'best albums ever', or even that they're my favourites ever, just that I'm really sentimental and these albums all have stuck with me for a long time.
         Because they were albums that have 'stuck with you over the years', this narrowed the field significantly - nothing I stopped listening to before high school (sorry Martina McBride, Lee Ann Womack and Hilary Duff) and nothing released in the past 2 years (lately I've been really into Bastille, fun. and Imagine Dragons, and newer stuff from Panic! at the Disco and Fall Out Boy). I also have only gotten back into buying full albums in the last few years, so this weeded out the artists and albums I only knew 4 or 5 songs from. 
          After some waffling, I gathered my list, and then decided to challenge myself farther - by picking my favourite song from each. This is where I hit the problems - do I pick the songs that make me happy? Make me want to dance? The 'popular' ones, the singles, which I would have heard first and most frequently? Or the ones that give me 'the feels' and have incredible lyrics? Figuring my Facebook friends would not be interested in my inner turmoil, I come here:

(I've listed the albums in the chronological order of when they came into my life)
Click each bolded song title to go to Youtube!
I tried to stay away from the singles, because people are more likely to know them, but sometimes they're singles because they're the best ones...

1 - Billy Joel - Greatest Hits vols. 1&2 (1973-1985)
This is the soundtrack to my childhood. Long drives in the car meant this album. I know it's cheating because it's TECHNICALLY 2 albums, but it's a packaged set of 2 (can't have one without the other) so I think of it as one long album. To me, the world of music begins and ends with Billy Joel. He has music for every mood, every feeling, every era. I get to see him in concert in a few weeks and I have never been so excited in my whole life! Every song on this album deserves to be here, and when you have as many incredible songs as he does, it's really hard to pick.
The songs: My first thought was Just the Way You Are, which is in my opinion one of the prettiest love songs ever written. I'm dancing to that song at my wedding. Period. I decided that when I was seven, and I'm sticking to it. Nothing any future fiance can say will change that. If he doesn't like Billy Joel, I don't like him.
I was also drawn to Allentown, because my mom can play it on the piano, and it's one of her favourites, so it reminds me of her. Even though my dad says it's one of his more depressing songs, I've always thought it was really pretty. Uptown Girl is an adorable song that everyone knows, for good reason, and The Entertainer is really upbeat - for some reason I used to pretend I could do highland dancing to that one. No idea why.
Only the Good Die Young is also really fun-sounding, and I partly love it because it contains one of my personal mottoes: "We might be laughing a bit too loud, but that never hurt no one"

2 - The Nylons - Four on the Floor (1991)
The Nylons are a seriously underrated Canadian a capella group that my mom is really fond of. So this was also on a lot in our house/car when I was a kid (I think we actually have the tape of this album somewhere). They mainly cover songs, but make them 500x more awesome in the process - for years I thought their version of Drift Away was actually the original. Oops. Four on the Floor was sort of their performance album, and as a result, some of the more processed versions I've been able to find are actually not as impressive as the live version on the album.
The Songs: The first favourite that popped into my head was Wildfire, because it's really upbeat and fun, and when I was 5, that was basically all I looked for in a song. It also showcases the diversity of all their voices really well, which is cool.  
Heavenly Bodies and Kiss Him Goodbye (yes, the 'Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey' one) deserve honourable mentions for the same reasons. I also loved Amazon because the lyrics are really meaningful and about preserving the environment - something I was big on as a kid. 

3 - Matchbox Twenty - Exile on Mainstream (2007)
The first band I developed a taste for without any parental influence whatsoever! It's technically a 'greatest hits' album (plus 6 new songs they wasted a whole disc just to separate), making it newer than some of the following albums, but shhh... I don't know if it's Rob Thomas' voice, or his amazing songwriting ability, but they're my 'first favourite' band. I still love them (their latest album, North, is phenomenal but didn't qualify for this list) and would love to see them live someday. 
This album, as a whole, has something that appeals to pretty much anyone, in any mood. It's my comfort music, and it always will be. 
(Side note: 3 AM is totally the first song I'm learning when I get around to learning to play my guitar. The intro is just perfection). 
The Songs: If I'm not mistaken, Unwell is the first song that drew me to them (I know it was my 'fave song ever', on heavy repeat when I was in around Grade 4), but I would have already heard If You're Gone and probably '3 AM' by then, so I don't know what gave me my first taste of the awesomeness that is MB20. 
I hadn't heard Disease until I actually bought the album, but I like how intense it is. It's also co-written by Mick Jagger, so it's got that going for it, which is nice. How Far We've Come is one those 'new'-er 6, but it's one of my favourite-ever 'happy songs' because it's so up-tempo (and the video is spectacular).  
Bright Lights also deserves to be mentioned because of the melodic piano, how emotional it is, and this lyric: "Some things in this world, man, they don't make sense / and some things you don't need until they leave you". Pure poetry right there. 

4 - The All-American Rejects - Move Along (2005)
Another of my 'first favourite' bands. I got into them when I was in about grade six, when this album came out, and even though they've kind of faded from popularity, I still think they're great. This was also the first non-Hilary-Duff album I bought for myself, so it holds a special place in my heart. 
This album is basically straightforward rock, with a little emotion thrown in, and was the perfect  sound for where my tastes were at the time. It also didn't hurt that I thought singer Tyson Ritter and guitarist Nick Wheeler were insanely cute.
The Songs: Top of the World is probably my number one, but it's a really close call. Dirty Little Secret and Move Along are obvious choices, if for the drums alone. I love a good strong drumbeat, and Chris Gaylor always provides. On the rare occasion one of them comes on the radio when I'm driving, I get a huge smile on my face and crank it up. In fact, those two songs, plus Top of the World were the reasons I bought the album (before It Ends Tonight was released - I know, so hipster).

The other favourites I have, ones that no one knows, were Change Your Mind, because it's so fast-paced and has some killer harmonies, and Dance Inside, which is a little toned-down in the first half, but then picks up - and I partly credit it with teaching me to appreciate the electric guitar. Dance Inside is one of the first songs where I really picked up on the guitar having its own melody (I hadn't listened to any Bon Jovi yet, ok??) and I LOVED it. 

5 - Daughtry - DAUGHTRY (2006)

For some reason, I only got back into liking Daughtry within the last year or so (boy, was I missing out!), which is why there are no other albums of theirs on this list. This one came out when I was in grade Eight and I liked it but then stopped buying albums for a couple years. If pressed, I would have to say this is probably my fourth-favourite of their four albums, but only because the others are EVEN BETTER. It's a great album, but every new one just is an improvement and so the rest get bumped down slightly. This album also furthered my appreciation of rock music. 
The Songs: This was tough, partly because some of the slower songs have gotten 'old' after hearing them so many times. The album is also very diverse, in terms of the tone of each song, and therefore my favourite changes depending on how I feel that day. 'It's Not Over', 'Home' and 'Over You' were the first three singles from the album, and again they were the reasons I bought it. But they're the obvious choices. I love all of them, but everyone knows them.
However, there's no denying that What I Want is really intense - mainly because it features SLASH. You can't go wrong with Slash. 
Breakdown really speaks to me, the lyrics in particular because they're really beautiful and about staying strong when things get tough. I also love how it builds from a ballad to sheer rock power, as though he's feeling sad and then just says 'enough' and flips the metaphorical table of anger - but calms down at the end, literally telling himself to "Keep it together, now".


6 - Fall Out Boy - From Under the Cork Tree (2005) 
Yes, I love Fall Out Boy. Big shocker. However, I need to note that this was the last album I placed on this list, because I didn't actually know the whole thing until recently, but I needed a twelfth. I ONLY included it because the few songs I did know were SUCH an obsession in my pre-teen years, I love all their later stuff, and this is how began my obsession with Pete Wentz. I was introduced to them in the days when MuchMusic actually played music videos, and I was awestruck. Even though I didn't know all their songs, I knew most of the titles, because wordplay makes me laugh.
The Songs: This was one of the few albums on this list where I picked number one with a bullet. Dance, Dance gets me every time. I don't understand half of the lyrics, but who cares. It's upbeat and has awesome drums, and guitars, and shows Patrick's voice at his best. The video is still one of my all-time favourites years later, partly because it reinforced the idea that nerds can be hot - and yes, I always do the heart in the air when he says 'love'. Sugar, we're Going Down holds a special place in my heart, too, because it introduced me to FOB, and the lyrics are so clever.

7 - Relient K - MMHMM (2004)
Unfortunately, the only Relient K album which contains songs anyone has actually heard of. They're one of my favourite bands (I've seen them live!) and just rock better than most. This album was so perfect for the time it was released, but their sound changes (always in a good way) with each consecutive one - so maybe that's why they fell off the face of popular culture. 
The Songs: I like all the songs on this album for the same reasons - the guitar, the energy, and Matthew Thiessen's voice. But the one I like slightly above the rest is The One I'm Waiting For, likely because it sums up my exact attitude toward single life. 
Deserving of mention are High of '75 for its sweetness, More Than Useless for its optimism, and Be My Escape for being the perfect blend of melody and rock.  
Maintain Consciousness gave me the comforting message that it's OK to have ADHD, that I'm one of a big group of people, and we can totally laugh about it - a message 12-year-old Emily really needed. 
And finally, Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet (one of the darker and more angsty songs on the album) gave me the valuable life lesson contained in this lyric: "No I don't hate you, don't wanna fight you, know I'll always love you, but right now I just don't like you".


8 - All-American Rejects - When the World Comes Down (2009)
This is likely my favourite AAR album. However, I feel like I can't really say that, because it's so different from Move Along, that it's one of those apples-vs-oranges situations. It came out when I was in Grade 10, and I was so excited to hear more from them, and then pleasantly surprised. 
One of my favourite things about this album is that they introduced classical strings to several of the songs - a sound I completely adore, and wish more people would use. I feel like they 'grew up' on this album, and I like it.
The Songs: The bonus track that doesn't really have a name (although I call it Sunshine) is my favourite because it's a perfect example of the strings I mentioned earlier, as well as the fact that it has a beautiful, medium-slow melody and lyrics that are comforting and hopeful. 
I feel the need to mention Mona Lisa because it's one of their few songs that is mainly acoustic, and that, paired with the sweetly sentimental lyrics, results in a song that I really can only describe as lovely. And I mean REALLY lovely. I wish I had someone that "can sit beside me when the world comes down".
Breakin' and Fallin' Apart also have the awesome string sound to them (the latter combines it with clapping, piano, and a drumbeat, where the former goes for acoustic, then electric guitar) and both are very fast-paced and just neat-sounding. As the titles indicate, they're more about heartbreak, but I just love belting them out when I'm in the car
Looking for more intense songs? Well there's also Another Heart Calls, which is basically a really angsty (but talented) couple sing-yelling at each other, followed by some epic chanting. And then there's Real World, which makes me think of Halloween. Complete with haunted-house-creaky-door-sound and creepy muttered verses. 


9 - Maroon 5 - Hands All Over (2010) 
I love Maroon 5, but most importantly, I love EVERY SONG ON THIS ALBUM. That's rare. Some are fast, some are slow, some are flirtatious, and some are sad. But all are incredible.  
The Songs:  How is the one unknown song that I would always love to sing in front of an audience, if I ever worked up the courage. The piano combined with the obvious pain in his voice - it's just so beautiful. Probably the most meaningful song (in my opinion) on the album.
I've actually never gotten sick of Moves Like Jagger. It's fun, it's easy to dance to, it's great to sing along to, and it's totally overplayed but I love it anyways. 
Runaway is great, and I can't really describe why. It's kind of an upbeat tune, but the lyrics are sad, so maybe that - the contrast - is what I like so much. Stutter is also an interesting combination, it begins kind of gritty, and then the chorus is just happy and cute. 
Side note: 'I Can't Lie' isn't in my top songs but I want to point out that in my mind it kind of sounds like Billy Joel's 'River of Dreams'. Especially the chorus. Weird. 


10 - Relient K - Five Score and Seven Years Ago (2007)
More Relient K! I think this album is my favourite of theirs. I love every song on this one, too. But it has a broader, slightly more mature sound than MMHMM. Like I said, there are no bad songs, anyone who likes rock music should listen to the whole thing. But I don't want to take too long, so I'm just going to list the most noteworthy ones.
The Songs: As I explained in this blog post, Up and Up has a very personal meaning to me. It gives me hope and makes everything seem like it's going to be OK. For that reason, I say it's my favourite. But there's also:
Must Have Done Something Right, which was one of the first Relient K songs I ever heard. It opens with "We should get jerseys, cos we make a good team. But yours would look better than mine, cos you're out of my league", and just gets cuter from there. 
Similarly adorable is The Best Thing, one of my favourite love songs, which contains the lyric "When I looked into your eyes, and you dared to stare right back, you should have said 'nice to meet you, I'm your other half'". It's about a guy in love who just wants to share that feeling with the world. (Side note: That lucky girl was staring into some incredibly gorgeous eyes. Go watch the 'Must Have Done Something Right' video to see what I mean.) 
Devastation and Reform and I Need You are really intense and make me want to drive really really fast, and that is the reason I do not listen to this CD in the car! 
Crayons Can Melt On Us For all I Care needs to be mentioned because it's hilarious. Listen to it. You'll see why the lyrics aren't included on the liner notes. 

11 - Rob Thomas - Cradlesong (2009) 
He's technically also on here twice, because he's the lead singer and songwriter of Matchbox Twenty, but this is his solo album. It's kind of a similar sound to MB20, but also different because while their songs all very clearly belong together, his cover a more broad range of sounds, which is what makes this album so good. This is another one that I can't find a weak link to.
The Songs: Wonderful popped into my head as a favourite right away, because it's so powerful and there are brass instruments involved. The lyrics are that classic struggle of changing yourself to suit other people. I mean "No, I can't be myself, and I can't be nobody else- but if I could, would you love me then?" It lives up to its name, I promise. 
There are some good rock songs on here - Still Ain't Over You is probably the best representation. Hard, driving guitar, verses that kind of 'sneak up' on an intense chorus - it's got everything I like.
If you're in the mood for a good cry, I recommend either Snowblind or Someday. Or either of the other two I just thought of. Just go listen to the whole thing. 

12 - OneRepublic - Waking Up (2011) 
I picked up this album on impulse, and boy am I glad I did. Other than the beautiful albeit so-common-it's-ridiculous 'Apologize', and the fact that Ryan Tedder is adorable and wears a fedora and looks adorable doing it, I hadn't really paid much attention to OneRepublic. Until one day I walked into HMV, and they had a 2-for-15$ sale going on so I grabbed this one too because I really liked 'Good Life'. I ended up liking this one better than the CD I went in there to buy*.
The Songs: As mentioned before, Good Life is an amazingly happy song and always puts a smile on my face and makes me want to twirl around in the middle of an open field. 
However, I think my favourite here would have to go to All This Time, because it's so slow and beautiful, in both lyrics and melody. If seven-year-old me hadn't already chosen 'Just the Way You Are' as my wedding song, seventeen-year-old me would have picked this one in a heartbeat. 


Honorable mentions (that didn't make the cut either because I don't know/like enough of the songs, or just weren't quite old enough). I'm too lazy to link to all these ones, just search Youtube. 

Phil Collins - ... Hits - 'Easy Lover' ft. Philip Bailey or 'Against All Odds' - One's happy, the other sad, go figure.


Simple Plan - Still Not Getting Any... - 'Shut Up!' So angsty, so classic SP

Panic! At the Disco - A Fever You Can't Sweat Out  - 'I Write Sins not Tragedies' because duh. HOWEVER I think 'But it's Better if You Do' is just as good and has a better video. 'Camisado' is good too. 

Fall Out Boy - Infinity On High - 'Thnks Fr th Mmrs'. Always.

Coldplay - Mylo Xyloto - 'Charlie Brown' Another one of my favourite happy songs!! 

*Foster the People - Torches - 'Don't Stop/Colour on the Walls' or 'Helena Beat'  (This is the other album I bought along with Waking Up - I only like it SLIGHTLY less, and every song is great, but the reason I like it is more entertainment than actual sentimentality, which is why I didn't include it. It's still an awesome, fun album).