An Open Letter to Jon Stewart

Dear Mr. Stewart,

I have never written a letter like this before. It feels strange to be so sad about saying goodbye to someone I’ve never even met. But I just really wanted to try in some small way to let you know what an impact you’ve had on me, and to thank you, on behalf of your audience, from the bottom of my heart.

When I heard you were leaving, I started to cry. Honestly. It surprised me how surprised I was by the news. I’ve been watching your show for as long I can remember, first with my dad, then on my own. When I went away to school, my dad and I would regularly email back and forth saying ‘Did you see that bit Jon Stewart did?’ and I’ve had countless discussions with friends about important topics that were sparked by pieces we saw on your show.

It broke my heart when you said “The show doesn’t deserve a host who’s even a little bit restless.” No! We’d take you no matter how restless you are! There IS no show without you! It could have the same name, heck even the same format, but it won’t have the same feeling, the same heart, the same community as the one we’ve been enjoying for years.

You’ve been our benevolent news man - explaining the more complicated sides of politics while never talking down to us - perhaps not anticipating that young teenage girls from Canada would gain roughly 80% of their knowledge of the American political system from you, but that’s what happened, at least in my case. So many times, you’ve lit a fire within us to fix things, to right the injustices of the world, and to smack the self-important, fact-ignorant FOX News anchors upside the head. A hilarious but still gentle father-figure whose repeated face-palmings at the silliness of your own show only served to endear you to your audience more. The way you get worked up when addressing ignorance and hypocrisy is nothing short of inspiring, and the reactions, ranging from sarcastic shock to the ‘oh jeez I’m so tired of this shit’ expressions never get old. You extended sympathy to marginalized groups that never once rang insincere, and then invited representatives of those groups to be a part of your show and have their own say.

From all the repeated inside jokes (seriously, what was the deal with you and Arby’s?) to the interviews on more serious topics which you didn’t take lightly, we hung on to your every word. It’s the job of the talk show host to be welcoming to their audience at home, but somehow you made us feel even closer to you and your team. I’ll never forget the first interview you did with Malala Yousafzai - I’ve watched it over a dozen times since and every time it still makes me tear up when you say 'nothing feels better’ than making her laugh. A grown man fangirling over a sixteen-year-old girl (albeit a remarkable sixteen-year-old) might to an outsider seem a little odd, but coming from you it was heartfelt and genuine.

And when you left the show for the summer to direct Rosewater, having John Oliver as your stand-in was a perfect balance because he was similar enough that we felt comfortable with 'the new guy’ but different enough that we still missed you and were so happy when you came back. And at least we still get him doing his thing - but one day of Last Week Tonight doesn’t nearly make up for a weeks’ worth of Daily Show. He’s amazing, don’t get me wrong, but no one even comes close to you.

We totally get that you’d want to spend more time with your family, something we often forget you give up when you’re filming the show that entertains us daily. But your extended family - the millions of friends and fans that love and appreciate you - are so incredibly sad we won’t get to see you anymore.

Thank you, not only for all the laughs you’ve given us, but for all the people you’ve given us who then went on to make us laugh even more. Thank you for Colbert, for John Oliver, for Steve Carrell and Larry Wilmore and Kristen Schaal.

Thank you for getting enraged on our behalf, so that we don’t have to. When something was wrong in the world, watching you became like a form of catharsis. It was such a relief to see that someone else was taking notice, someone else was calling the hypocrites on their hypocrisy, someone else cared, and knew what mattered, but was still able to find humour in the craziness.

Thank you for opening our eyes to things we’d never even seen or heard of, had it not been for your show. I have a shelf full of books at home that I bought solely because you talked about them, and they seemed interesting to me - and you were right every time. So many remarkable, eye-opening topics that I would have never discovered if it wasn’t for you (even if you never read them yourself). I am definitely a more well-rounded person today because of your influence.

In all honesty, I wasn’t the littlest bit surprised when you said you wanted to leave because covering the news depressed you. I can’t imagine having to wade through all the awful things you cover on a daily basis, and try to find laughter in incredibly dark places. It’s so admirable that you kept going as long as you did. And I want you to know that you probably have saved a lot of people from a lot of that same depression, by giving us hope, and logic, and well-reasoned arguments, and showing us that there’s still always something to laugh at, no matter the circumstance. You were always there for us, to address the gravity of these situations, while making sure we knew things were going to be okay. And I might be in the minority here, but I truly believe that’s one of the most worthwhile things a person could ever do.

So thank you, Jon. Thank you for all the time we got to spend with you over the years, all the weeks and months when we took you for granted. There’s going to be a little emptiness at 11 o’clock for the longest time. And wherever you go, and whatever you do next, we’ll be waiting to cheer you on every step of the way.

Good luck to you, sir. I’m really going to miss you. 

On Singing & Talent

Warning: This may come across as a humble brag. Please read the whole thing before judging. Or if you're not inclined to do that, don't read at all. 

I hate it when people complain about my singing - not even to say that it’s bad, but to say I’m ‘showing off’ or that I ‘make them feel inferior’ about their own voice. 

You have no idea how insanely hard it is for me to finally work up the courage to sing in front of people. It takes months, sometimes years, of knowing a person for me to go from mumbling along in the car to actually feeling confident enough to belt out a song. And it’s damn near impossible to get me to sing if there’s no music to sing along to, because then I can’t pretend that the other music is drowning me out. 

I like my voice. I’m proud of my voice. I know it’s not perfect, but I also know that it’s pretty good. I hate that I’m always afraid of people not liking it. I hate that something I love doing, and that makes me so happy, is something I feel too scared to share with the world. 

The couple of times someone has complimented my singing, I've had a brief moment of panic, of ‘oh my god you actually heard that’ but it’s also given me this warm glowing feeling inside, and helped me feel braver the next time.

But saying someone is off-key or has a bad voice is not the only way you can crush them. In fact, if I did go off-key or sing lousily, I bet no one would say anything, because that’s not the polite thing to do. I know I would never say something like that. If we’re driving along (I use that example because it’s where this sort of thing happens the most frequently) and jamming out to a song we don’t like, I don’t care if you’re Mariah Carey or William Hung, honestly I’m probably just going to have fun with you either way.

But when someone turns to me and says “Oh my god, I hate singing with you because I sound like crap and you don’t” it ironically doesn’t boost my ego. Instead, it makes me feel like by enjoying myself, and having a gift, I’ve somehow been insensitive to them. Like I need to apologize for the differences between us. I realize the other person apparently isn’t having fun, and somehow it’s my fault. 

Why do I have to feel bad about being good at something just because you’re not? I’m sure you have many talents that I don’t share, but I’m proud of you and I will embrace your talents, not tell you to hide them just because I’m insecure. 

And as for the 'showing off' thing, I just don't get this. I've never once entered a talent show, never once intentionally stood in front of a room full of people to sing, 'just because I could' and I thought people needed to hear it. Even that, I don't think, would be considered 'showing off', rather just 'showing'. Sometimes I like to harmonize with songs (or just sing the background vocals if the song is in two parts to begin with) simply because I think it sounds cool. My mom is very musical. I grew up listening to her harmonize with stuff on the radio, and as a result I learned to do it too. And if there are two of us singing, then why shouldn't we do a two-part harmony? That's really fun! 

But when I do this and people accuse me of showing off it makes me feel bad, because what have I done wrong? What's stopping you from doing the same thing?? And if you know you just can't harmonize because you don't have the ear for it, or for whatever reason, then why the heck is it a bad thing that I can? If you enjoyed doing something, and you were really proud of it, I would never tell you you were showing off. There's nothing wrong with being proud of something you're good at. It's not egotistical to do it to the best of your ability, rather than holding back because people around you will judge you for going all-out. And considering I barely have the confidence to do it in the first place, accusing me of doing it to the point of showing off is more than a little ironic. 

Now it's a whole other story if you just don't want ANYONE to sing along. Sometimes people just want to listen to music without other people singing over it. I get that and I'll respect that. It might be a force of habit to sing (or at least hum) along if I know a song really well, but if you catch me doing that and ask me to stop, I'll definitely apologize and clam up. 

But please don't say I make you feel bad by being comfortable with myself. Because chances are you'll say something like that and move on, but it'll hurt and stick with me for a good long while. Obviously the last thing I want to do is make someone feel bad! But I don't understand how I can avoid that, other than stifling myself in order to make sure you don't compare us. And that's not fair. 

Besides, chances are you're being too harsh on your own voice anyways.  

On Rejection: It goes both ways

       At my school, we have a Facebook page where people can submit anonymous stories about people they've seen around - it's used primarily to either compliment people and give a shoutout, or to criticize someone doing something socially unacceptable (eg. taking up 3 seats with their belongings on a crowded bus).
       When it's the former, I constantly see instances where, for example, a guy has submitted a post saying he saw a pretty girl but he's too shy to approach her/didn't have the time to do so, and other people on the page will comment and tell him to 'stop being a wimp and go talk to her! Girls like it when people approach them!'. I've seen this same kind of thing when a girl has mentioned noticing a cute guy too, but it's more frequently the other way around.

       And speaking as a girl, I have the following to say:

       Not all of us like the random dude walking up to us and complimenting us. (This is not referring to catcalling, that's a whole other issue I'll address later). Some of us, like me, are shy or have social anxiety and don't like being singled out in public. That's not the fault of the guy/girl doing the approaching, it's just a fact and isn't true for everyone, but is true for enough people that it should still be kept in mind.
       Now, on to the next problem: the rejection. When an approach is shot down or not received well, it's usually considered the fault of the approachee. They're considered too judgmental or rude, or heaven forbid, 'shallow'. But that's not usually the case, it actually hinges on three things:

1) The person making the approach. Yes, while it is unfortunate, it is possible that the person approaching is not the right 'type' for, or not considered attractive by, the person they're trying to talk to. HOWEVER, before dismissing girls as 'bitchy' or 'stuck-up' because of this, consider the following scenario.
       If a girl is hypothetically more likely to be receptive to a good-looking, well-dressed guy coming up to talk to her than someone who's not her type, or really grungy-looking, SO WHAT? Unless they act disgusted by your appearance like Cher from Clueless, it's not shallow for them to say they're simply not attracted to someone.

       Besides, guys do the exact same thing. Think about it this way: How many times in a movie or TV show has a guy been 'embarrassed' because some 'nerdy', awkward girl has a crush on him? And nobody ever questions his reaction. Yet, if it was an attractive, 'popular' girl showing him the same attention, he'd be interested, or at the very least flattered. The rejection only comes because he perceives that first girl as 'beneath' him, and therefore their attempts are seen as 'creepy', 'desperate', and unwanted. It's a total double standard. (And then there's that Cinderella-moment where the nerd girl is revealed to actually be gorgeous beneath her glasses and baggy clothing, yadda yadda ugh).

I'm just gonna leave this here...

       The genders in this situation can be reversed (or made the same) and it's just as true. I'm not saying this is okay, or that this is the way things should be, or that nerds aren't worthy of love (as one, I feel very strongly about this!) I'm just saying that everyone is equally guilty of this kind of reaction, myself regrettably included. But as I said before, this is by no means the only reason for rejection. So if you get rejected, it's probably because of one of the other two reasons - and even if it is this one, I'm sure there is someone out there whose type you definitely are, or who is at least compassionate enough to give you a chance rather than rejecting you outright.

2) Their mood. This is a big one. The same person on a different day may have a totally different reaction. Try to judge the situation first. If they're on their own - Do they look relaxed and approachable? Or do they look tense and grumpy?? This should be a no-brainer. Are they hurrying somewhere? If so, then probably don't interrupt them, because they're less likely to respond favourably if they need to get somewhere and you're holding them up.
       Are they with other people? Often this is a moot point, because people don't like approaching large groups. But even if you're fine with it, this may make the other person uncomfortable or embarrassed because they're being singled out in front of their friends. And please don't approach anyone with a large group of your own friends standing with you/looking on. This only serves to make the object of your attention more uncomfortable, like they're being ambushed. Even in front of total strangers - please don't follow them down the hall, or be like some guy that stood in front of my friend while she was clearly on the phone, as an attempt to get her attention. Have some manners.

3) Above all, this is about how you approach them. Pick-up lines are immature and stupid.

Even this one is borderline-weird. EVEN THIS ONE.

       If you think someone is attractive, tell them that, be straightforward, and be sincere. Don't act like you think you're doing them a favour by noticing them. Don't make creepy sexual-innuendo jokes. And don't yell at them from a distance, because that's embarrassing for them too (and will embarrass you if they shut you down). So go up to them, maintaining a respectable distance, but close enough that everyone in the room can't hear you. Sound complicated? It's really not. If you give someone a genuine compliment in a respectful manner, it might make their day better. Or you might at least make a new friend if they're not interested in you romantically.
    
       I'm going to use myself as an example. When I was in first year, I was alone, going down a crowded staircase, and some dude walking past me up the stairs yelled after me, "Hey miss, excuse me!" I turned around, thinking I might have dropped something. He then asked me "Do I know you?" and I said no, because I was new to the area and I also have a very good memory for faces, and didn't recognize him. After asking me if I was sure, he asked where I was from. When I told him I was from a city far away from our school, he then asked where I was living. A little creeped out at this point, I told him the name of one of the residence buildings I didn't live in, and when he asked what room, I then told him I was late for meeting a friend (which was partly true) and started to leave. Then he asked if he could 'call me sometime'. I basically just yelled 'No thanks!' and ran down the stairs.
         Now, I'll be the first to admit that this guy was not someone I would have been attracted to. But that wasn't really the problem. If a cute guy had shouted after me the same way, or asked the same personal questions, I promise you I would have had the same reaction. It wasn't that I found him unattractive, it was the fact that he was shouting down the stairwell from a landing above me, where there were tons of random people around to see and hear us (I didn't particularly want them knowing where I lived, either!). And as my friend put it when I told her, he basically just 'stopped me and then proceeded to interrogate me', which came across as both creepy and awkward. He didn't introduce himself, provide any reason for wanting to know where I lived, and I was pretty sure he was lying about recognizing me, too. In addition to all that, as mentioned earlier, I am pretty shy about meeting new people and hate being put on the spot. So even though I had every right to be uncomfortable, I felt like I didn't know what to say and probably would have turned bright red had the interaction gone on any longer.
        If the same guy had come up to me in a more low-key manner, such as while I was sitting in the cafeteria, introduced himself and tried to start a conversation (rather than just asking me a list of questions), I would have been much more likely to talk to him politely, in spite of my shyness. If I still didn't want to continue the conversation further, I would have felt comfortable enough - comfortable being the key word here - to let him down tactfully and discreetly, instead of just shouting 'no!' and running away. Which may or may not have embarrassed him - I really don't know (and to be frank, I don't much care).

       And above all, if you are rejected, remember to be nice about it. The rejection may hurt, but turning around and being rude right back definitely isn't going to make your situation any better. It's totally okay to mumble something like 'sorry to bother you/thank you for your time' and slink away (but DON'T expect them to chase after you and change their mind). It's also totally okay to make some kind of self-depreciating joke to diffuse the tension (just don't insult them too, or make it sound like a guilt-trip). And for Pete's sake, respect their decision. Don't question it, especially if they tell you they have a significant other/don't swing your way. That quickly becomes annoying and rude. If they simply don't give you a reason, don't try to beg/coerce them to change their mind. That's a little sad. If they were polite to you, return the favour. If not, be the bigger person. They probably won't change their mind after the fact, but at least they likely won't think ill of you later if you handle it gracefully.

       To those (both girls and guys) who are on the receiving end of genuine, benign, unwanted attention - try to be nice too. (Obviously, if you really feel uncomfortable, social niceties should not be your first concern). But if they're harmless enough and you're really just not interested, let them down gently, say something like 'sorry' and don't make a big deal out of it. If they still call you a 'jerk' or a 'bitch' for rejecting them, that's their problem, not yours (and it's a good thing you didn't get involved with them!).

As for catcalls? I think I'll let Jessica Williams handle this one...
 

On changes and chances

If there is one life lesson I learned from working in a clothing store for three years (aside from the obvious-but-important rule 'always be nice to retail workers'), it is that nothing is permanent. Sales end, that cute shirt you were thinking about buying won't be there tomorrow, and employees come and go.
Life is a lot like that too. Our friends and family might seem like they're constantly around right now, but that won't always be the case. People die. People move away. People gradually get distant from you until the point where you have to think for a second to remember their face when you see their name on your Facebook feed. And it sucks.
There are so many reasons that it's painful, not the least of which are all the missed opportunities. If you don't tell someone how much they really mean to you, or you make 'someday' plans with them that never end up happening. You know the type - "We were gonna to watch that movie together someday." "We were going to go on this trip." "We were gonna try out that restaurant... But we never did". And then we sit around after the opportunity has passed us by, and think about the what-ifs. Meanwhile, we're missing even more opportunities while we're feeling sad. You know, 'Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.'
I've never been good with change. I've been that way my whole life. One example I can think of would be when I graduated elementary school - as miserable as I'd been there, I cried nearly every day that summer because I was scared of high school and I knew I would miss the familiarity and the closeness of my class group (albeit a class group that didn't like me).
Moving on from high school was even more difficult, because that was a place I'd actually felt comfortable, gained self-confidence and friends who loved and accepted me. I took a fifth year and many of my friends didn't, so that was an awkward transition phase because I was in a familiar place, but I was alone. However, I think it also kind of helped me move on, because I knew that wasn't where I belonged anymore.
Places change.

My grandpa grew up in a tiny town in Northern Ontario. When I was about twelve, my family and I went camping up there, and my grandpa took us on a tour. Practically everything he pointed out was something that was no longer there. "This was where the baseball diamond used to be." "That used to be my elementary school, it's a nursing home now." It seemed funny at the time, and the 'used-to-be' tour has become kind of an inside joke in our family, but it really makes me sad when I think about it. I'm only twenty, and so many places that held some significance for me as a child are already gone or different. I can't bear to think about how much will vanish in the years to come. And it also makes me think - if the old places and people are replaced with new ones, and we don't leave our mark on the new ones like we did the old, have we made an impact on anything?
Even my home changed a lot when I went away for school. My sisters had shared a room their whole lives, but when I moved out, one of them got my old room, and I got a bed in the corner of my mom's office downstairs. A lot of the time when I got homesick, I was longing for my old room - I wanted the same ceiling that I stared at for 14 years before going to bed. I wanted my furniture and my stuff placed how it had been for most of my life. But I came back to this place that didn't feel like my home. And as comfortable as I tried to make my residence room, I knew that it was only temporarily mine, so that wasn't really 'home', either. I felt lost.

And speaking of families, how awful is it to have a group - be they coworkers, classmates, or just friends - that you feel incredibly close to, to the point that they're like your surrogate family, and then circumstances change and because you don't see them anymore, nobody even talks to you? That really hurts. It's rejection en masse, and even if it's unintentional it still feels that way. Sometimes we forget people exist if they're not in our face all the time (either in physical proximity, or virtually).
And this may be just my own neurosis, but sometimes I feel like I really want to talk to someone I haven't seen in a while, but I don't because I feel like I'm intruding on their life, and I have no right to be there because we're not that close anymore. Or worse yet, I used to be really close to them and talked every day, but then they got a 'love interest' and suddenly I'm just not important to them anymore. If they've moved on in their lives and I haven't, I'm the one still dwelling in the past, then that's just awkward. They're not missing a little Emily-shaped part of themselves anymore, but I'm still missing them.
It might be true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. People, like songs on the radio, might seem intriguing at first, but then become monotonous if they're in our heads constantly. It takes a few weeks without seeing the people/years without hearing the song to appreciate them again, feel nostalgic, and remember why we liked them in the first place.
I'm not saying we should keep everyone we've ever met around in our lives forever - of course not. If you have poisonous friends, or an abusive partner, then those people need to leave. But you can't help missing the part of them that wasn't mean, and that drew you to them in the first place. I know I wake up every day thanking the world that I don't have to see my elementary-school bullies - even if they did make me laugh from time to time.
It's the people I never intentionally separated from, the ones that just drifted away, the ones I used to share secrets and inside jokes with but then one day I look around and they're just not there, that make me really sad. Because try as I might - even if I happen to run into them randomly, or work up the courage to message them and ask how they are - we might suggest the 'someday' plan of meeting up for coffee, or even actually do it, and then too much is different. They're not the same people I knew years ago, because time has changed them. I'm sure they're sitting across the table from me thinking that I'm not the same person, either.

We ourselves change as a result of our experiences and interactions with others, either through a conscious decision or a gradual adjustment. But the thing is, we're constantly unhappy with at least one aspect of ourselves. Which leads to a (not always successful) attempt to change who we are. But we also look back constantly - 'I used to be so much skinnier/happier/more dedicated to school' and we wish we could get back what we'd had. And we forget that at the time when we were supposedly skinnier/happier etc., we were probably trying to change something else that we didn't like. Why can't we just like ourselves the way we are? Why are we constantly feeling ashamed of our emotions and our quirks and our habits? Unless those habits hurt other people (in which case we need to try hard as we can to earn their forgiveness, but you already knew that) then why aren't they just fine? It's kind of silly, when you think about it, the endless circles we go in of being hard on ourselves, and then going 'ugh, I hate how hard I am on myself'.
As we grow up, we also lose the sense of innocence we once had. There's no universal time this happens for anyone - but once it's gone, there's no getting it back. It's when we stop looking forward to growing up, and start dreading the future. It's when we know what death is, and are afraid of it. It's when we start being more afraid of the big bad world than we are amazed by the big beautiful one. When I was a kid, my dad would take me on day trips to Toronto and we'd take the subway. I always thought it was a magical train that went super fast underground and was bumpy like a roller coaster. Now I notice the stairwell that smells like vomit, or the cigarette butts on the ground, or the guy two rows down who's talking to himself. And I get annoyed by the bumpiness and how long it takes to get from station to station. It's the exact same subway. But I'm not the same little kid.

Our memories, despite being what we cling to when everything's moved on without us, fade too. Or worse yet, they get tainted by the 'knowing what comes next' until we can't enjoy them anymore. Books are comforting in that we can go back and revisit the time or place we miss, from the same vantage point as where we sat the first time we read it. It doesn't change. But even then, our personal experiences may have changed how we react to it. Or if something bad happens, say, a character dies, we are aware of this and can't enjoy them being alive because we're just bracing for the end.
If someone in our real life dies, or leaves us in another sense, every memory of them becomes coloured - however slightly - by the loss we feel at not having them around anymore. Whether they were in our lives for a reason or a season doesn't make us miss them any less.
Our memories, even those that don't involve other people, are an integral part of us, and if we lose them we lose ourselves. I, personally, am an obsessive scrapbooker. My mom is constantly telling me that I can't keep all these papers and cards and articles, that I won't ever have time to sort and organize them at the same rate as they build up. She might be correct about that, but I'm scared to part with anything because then I'm afraid I won't remember it. (I wonder, how many opportunities have I missed out on because I've been sitting in my basement scrapbooking? Let's not go there...)

Like the kid who touches the stove to see if it's hot, we should also remember our mistakes, or we'll be doomed to repeat them (for the record - staying up until 4:00 the night before an 8 a.m. lab, NOT a good idea), but we should also forgive ourselves for making those mistakes - and do our best to learn from them.
We also need to take the time to recognize the significance of the things we take for granted. For example, people hate being stuck in traffic, but as long as I'm not running late for something (my anxiety there is a topic for a whole other blog), I don't mind it. I'm cozy in the car, I have music, and I have the freedom afforded me by a driver's license. In the midst of the traffic, I wouldn't trade any of that for having to walk/bus/bike everywhere.

There's a line from the movie Dazed and Confused which I've always loved, in part because it worded so perfectly a concept I'd always struggled to phrase. A group of people are talking about how everything they do seems like it's in preparation for something, and the one girl says "You know, I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor, insignificant preamble to somethin' else." And she's right! What exactly are we preparing ourselves for, if we're not even learning how to live or enjoy our lives, if we keep missing the opportunities that pass us by? (Who would have thought something so insightful would come from the stoner movie that gave us Matthew McConaughey's 'alright, alright, alright...'.)
We need to make our todays into our 'somedays'. Be a little impulsive - be spontaneous. One of the best decisions I ever made was buying tickets three days before a concert when I found out at the last minute that one of my favourite bands was playing in Toronto. I had an amazing time and I knew it was rare that they'd be in town (they haven't been back since!) so I bought the tickets without even hesitating, and I've never once regretted it. I definitely would have regretted not going.
There have also been many nights where I should have gone to bed, and didn't because I was enjoying spending time with, or talking to, people. Although I was kicking myself the next morning, no doubt, in the long run I've had a lot more worthwhile and memorable conversations at 3 a.m. than I've had memorable dreams. 

So through all this, the changes that I mentioned earlier, that we are so sad about, might not be so bad if we know we did the utmost we could before the change came. To paraphrase the infinite wisdom that is Albus Dumbledore - it does not do to dwell on the past and forget to live in the present. If we make as many happy memories as we possibly can, maybe we won't mind so much if we forget the minor ones. If we spend as much time with the people we love as is physically possible, we won't feel as bad when they eventually leave us. And we'll have more reasons to smile when remembering them, rather than thinking about all the things that 'could have' been. I never again want to start a story with 'well, we were going to do ____' unless it's followed up with 'but then we did _____ instead, and it was SO MUCH MORE AWESOME!!'
Don't sweat the little things. My eighth-grade grad quote (which I can't for the life of me remember the source of) was this: "I wonder how I'll get through life, but I know I'll survive. So I might as well have a little fun and some laughter along the way." So don't stress about what you'll be doing next month or next year. Make sure that you're getting the most joy out of the month or the year you're currently in. Carpe the heck out of that diem.
Take the little chances. Watch that movie. Take that vacation. Try out that restaurant. Work up the courage to talk to that cute guy/girl, and tell the important people just how much they mean to you. Make plans to spend time with them, and then follow through.
In that one sense (and I do mean that once sense ONLY), maybe we should try to be like that kid from We're the Millers and live with 'no ragrets'.
Not even a single letter. :)

On Music (a.k.a. why I can't pick favourites)

Tonight, like most nights, I've been sitting at my computer unable to sleep and bored out of my mind. So when my friend issued me the following challenge on Facebook, I thought it'd be fun:
"List 12 albums that have stayed with you over the years in some way. Don't take too long on this list - just a few minutes. These don't have to be great records, or critical darlings, just ones that mean something to you personally."
         Now, something you should know about me is that I don't have a favourite of anything. Food, movie, TV show, nothing. I refer to my 'favourites' as a collective group, and those groups have sub-categories and filing systems and it's all just very confusing. I'm so indecisive. Everything depends on my mood, and everything has its pros and cons - a balance I'm always very aware of. I'm not saying these are the 'best albums ever', or even that they're my favourites ever, just that I'm really sentimental and these albums all have stuck with me for a long time.
         Because they were albums that have 'stuck with you over the years', this narrowed the field significantly - nothing I stopped listening to before high school (sorry Martina McBride, Lee Ann Womack and Hilary Duff) and nothing released in the past 2 years (lately I've been really into Bastille, fun. and Imagine Dragons, and newer stuff from Panic! at the Disco and Fall Out Boy). I also have only gotten back into buying full albums in the last few years, so this weeded out the artists and albums I only knew 4 or 5 songs from. 
          After some waffling, I gathered my list, and then decided to challenge myself farther - by picking my favourite song from each. This is where I hit the problems - do I pick the songs that make me happy? Make me want to dance? The 'popular' ones, the singles, which I would have heard first and most frequently? Or the ones that give me 'the feels' and have incredible lyrics? Figuring my Facebook friends would not be interested in my inner turmoil, I come here:

(I've listed the albums in the chronological order of when they came into my life)
Click each bolded song title to go to Youtube!
I tried to stay away from the singles, because people are more likely to know them, but sometimes they're singles because they're the best ones...

1 - Billy Joel - Greatest Hits vols. 1&2 (1973-1985)
This is the soundtrack to my childhood. Long drives in the car meant this album. I know it's cheating because it's TECHNICALLY 2 albums, but it's a packaged set of 2 (can't have one without the other) so I think of it as one long album. To me, the world of music begins and ends with Billy Joel. He has music for every mood, every feeling, every era. I get to see him in concert in a few weeks and I have never been so excited in my whole life! Every song on this album deserves to be here, and when you have as many incredible songs as he does, it's really hard to pick.
The songs: My first thought was Just the Way You Are, which is in my opinion one of the prettiest love songs ever written. I'm dancing to that song at my wedding. Period. I decided that when I was seven, and I'm sticking to it. Nothing any future fiance can say will change that. If he doesn't like Billy Joel, I don't like him.
I was also drawn to Allentown, because my mom can play it on the piano, and it's one of her favourites, so it reminds me of her. Even though my dad says it's one of his more depressing songs, I've always thought it was really pretty. Uptown Girl is an adorable song that everyone knows, for good reason, and The Entertainer is really upbeat - for some reason I used to pretend I could do highland dancing to that one. No idea why.
Only the Good Die Young is also really fun-sounding, and I partly love it because it contains one of my personal mottoes: "We might be laughing a bit too loud, but that never hurt no one"

2 - The Nylons - Four on the Floor (1991)
The Nylons are a seriously underrated Canadian a capella group that my mom is really fond of. So this was also on a lot in our house/car when I was a kid (I think we actually have the tape of this album somewhere). They mainly cover songs, but make them 500x more awesome in the process - for years I thought their version of Drift Away was actually the original. Oops. Four on the Floor was sort of their performance album, and as a result, some of the more processed versions I've been able to find are actually not as impressive as the live version on the album.
The Songs: The first favourite that popped into my head was Wildfire, because it's really upbeat and fun, and when I was 5, that was basically all I looked for in a song. It also showcases the diversity of all their voices really well, which is cool.  
Heavenly Bodies and Kiss Him Goodbye (yes, the 'Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey' one) deserve honourable mentions for the same reasons. I also loved Amazon because the lyrics are really meaningful and about preserving the environment - something I was big on as a kid. 

3 - Matchbox Twenty - Exile on Mainstream (2007)
The first band I developed a taste for without any parental influence whatsoever! It's technically a 'greatest hits' album (plus 6 new songs they wasted a whole disc just to separate), making it newer than some of the following albums, but shhh... I don't know if it's Rob Thomas' voice, or his amazing songwriting ability, but they're my 'first favourite' band. I still love them (their latest album, North, is phenomenal but didn't qualify for this list) and would love to see them live someday. 
This album, as a whole, has something that appeals to pretty much anyone, in any mood. It's my comfort music, and it always will be. 
(Side note: 3 AM is totally the first song I'm learning when I get around to learning to play my guitar. The intro is just perfection). 
The Songs: If I'm not mistaken, Unwell is the first song that drew me to them (I know it was my 'fave song ever', on heavy repeat when I was in around Grade 4), but I would have already heard If You're Gone and probably '3 AM' by then, so I don't know what gave me my first taste of the awesomeness that is MB20. 
I hadn't heard Disease until I actually bought the album, but I like how intense it is. It's also co-written by Mick Jagger, so it's got that going for it, which is nice. How Far We've Come is one those 'new'-er 6, but it's one of my favourite-ever 'happy songs' because it's so up-tempo (and the video is spectacular).  
Bright Lights also deserves to be mentioned because of the melodic piano, how emotional it is, and this lyric: "Some things in this world, man, they don't make sense / and some things you don't need until they leave you". Pure poetry right there. 

4 - The All-American Rejects - Move Along (2005)
Another of my 'first favourite' bands. I got into them when I was in about grade six, when this album came out, and even though they've kind of faded from popularity, I still think they're great. This was also the first non-Hilary-Duff album I bought for myself, so it holds a special place in my heart. 
This album is basically straightforward rock, with a little emotion thrown in, and was the perfect  sound for where my tastes were at the time. It also didn't hurt that I thought singer Tyson Ritter and guitarist Nick Wheeler were insanely cute.
The Songs: Top of the World is probably my number one, but it's a really close call. Dirty Little Secret and Move Along are obvious choices, if for the drums alone. I love a good strong drumbeat, and Chris Gaylor always provides. On the rare occasion one of them comes on the radio when I'm driving, I get a huge smile on my face and crank it up. In fact, those two songs, plus Top of the World were the reasons I bought the album (before It Ends Tonight was released - I know, so hipster).

The other favourites I have, ones that no one knows, were Change Your Mind, because it's so fast-paced and has some killer harmonies, and Dance Inside, which is a little toned-down in the first half, but then picks up - and I partly credit it with teaching me to appreciate the electric guitar. Dance Inside is one of the first songs where I really picked up on the guitar having its own melody (I hadn't listened to any Bon Jovi yet, ok??) and I LOVED it. 

5 - Daughtry - DAUGHTRY (2006)

For some reason, I only got back into liking Daughtry within the last year or so (boy, was I missing out!), which is why there are no other albums of theirs on this list. This one came out when I was in grade Eight and I liked it but then stopped buying albums for a couple years. If pressed, I would have to say this is probably my fourth-favourite of their four albums, but only because the others are EVEN BETTER. It's a great album, but every new one just is an improvement and so the rest get bumped down slightly. This album also furthered my appreciation of rock music. 
The Songs: This was tough, partly because some of the slower songs have gotten 'old' after hearing them so many times. The album is also very diverse, in terms of the tone of each song, and therefore my favourite changes depending on how I feel that day. 'It's Not Over', 'Home' and 'Over You' were the first three singles from the album, and again they were the reasons I bought it. But they're the obvious choices. I love all of them, but everyone knows them.
However, there's no denying that What I Want is really intense - mainly because it features SLASH. You can't go wrong with Slash. 
Breakdown really speaks to me, the lyrics in particular because they're really beautiful and about staying strong when things get tough. I also love how it builds from a ballad to sheer rock power, as though he's feeling sad and then just says 'enough' and flips the metaphorical table of anger - but calms down at the end, literally telling himself to "Keep it together, now".


6 - Fall Out Boy - From Under the Cork Tree (2005) 
Yes, I love Fall Out Boy. Big shocker. However, I need to note that this was the last album I placed on this list, because I didn't actually know the whole thing until recently, but I needed a twelfth. I ONLY included it because the few songs I did know were SUCH an obsession in my pre-teen years, I love all their later stuff, and this is how began my obsession with Pete Wentz. I was introduced to them in the days when MuchMusic actually played music videos, and I was awestruck. Even though I didn't know all their songs, I knew most of the titles, because wordplay makes me laugh.
The Songs: This was one of the few albums on this list where I picked number one with a bullet. Dance, Dance gets me every time. I don't understand half of the lyrics, but who cares. It's upbeat and has awesome drums, and guitars, and shows Patrick's voice at his best. The video is still one of my all-time favourites years later, partly because it reinforced the idea that nerds can be hot - and yes, I always do the heart in the air when he says 'love'. Sugar, we're Going Down holds a special place in my heart, too, because it introduced me to FOB, and the lyrics are so clever.

7 - Relient K - MMHMM (2004)
Unfortunately, the only Relient K album which contains songs anyone has actually heard of. They're one of my favourite bands (I've seen them live!) and just rock better than most. This album was so perfect for the time it was released, but their sound changes (always in a good way) with each consecutive one - so maybe that's why they fell off the face of popular culture. 
The Songs: I like all the songs on this album for the same reasons - the guitar, the energy, and Matthew Thiessen's voice. But the one I like slightly above the rest is The One I'm Waiting For, likely because it sums up my exact attitude toward single life. 
Deserving of mention are High of '75 for its sweetness, More Than Useless for its optimism, and Be My Escape for being the perfect blend of melody and rock.  
Maintain Consciousness gave me the comforting message that it's OK to have ADHD, that I'm one of a big group of people, and we can totally laugh about it - a message 12-year-old Emily really needed. 
And finally, Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet (one of the darker and more angsty songs on the album) gave me the valuable life lesson contained in this lyric: "No I don't hate you, don't wanna fight you, know I'll always love you, but right now I just don't like you".


8 - All-American Rejects - When the World Comes Down (2009)
This is likely my favourite AAR album. However, I feel like I can't really say that, because it's so different from Move Along, that it's one of those apples-vs-oranges situations. It came out when I was in Grade 10, and I was so excited to hear more from them, and then pleasantly surprised. 
One of my favourite things about this album is that they introduced classical strings to several of the songs - a sound I completely adore, and wish more people would use. I feel like they 'grew up' on this album, and I like it.
The Songs: The bonus track that doesn't really have a name (although I call it Sunshine) is my favourite because it's a perfect example of the strings I mentioned earlier, as well as the fact that it has a beautiful, medium-slow melody and lyrics that are comforting and hopeful. 
I feel the need to mention Mona Lisa because it's one of their few songs that is mainly acoustic, and that, paired with the sweetly sentimental lyrics, results in a song that I really can only describe as lovely. And I mean REALLY lovely. I wish I had someone that "can sit beside me when the world comes down".
Breakin' and Fallin' Apart also have the awesome string sound to them (the latter combines it with clapping, piano, and a drumbeat, where the former goes for acoustic, then electric guitar) and both are very fast-paced and just neat-sounding. As the titles indicate, they're more about heartbreak, but I just love belting them out when I'm in the car
Looking for more intense songs? Well there's also Another Heart Calls, which is basically a really angsty (but talented) couple sing-yelling at each other, followed by some epic chanting. And then there's Real World, which makes me think of Halloween. Complete with haunted-house-creaky-door-sound and creepy muttered verses. 


9 - Maroon 5 - Hands All Over (2010) 
I love Maroon 5, but most importantly, I love EVERY SONG ON THIS ALBUM. That's rare. Some are fast, some are slow, some are flirtatious, and some are sad. But all are incredible.  
The Songs:  How is the one unknown song that I would always love to sing in front of an audience, if I ever worked up the courage. The piano combined with the obvious pain in his voice - it's just so beautiful. Probably the most meaningful song (in my opinion) on the album.
I've actually never gotten sick of Moves Like Jagger. It's fun, it's easy to dance to, it's great to sing along to, and it's totally overplayed but I love it anyways. 
Runaway is great, and I can't really describe why. It's kind of an upbeat tune, but the lyrics are sad, so maybe that - the contrast - is what I like so much. Stutter is also an interesting combination, it begins kind of gritty, and then the chorus is just happy and cute. 
Side note: 'I Can't Lie' isn't in my top songs but I want to point out that in my mind it kind of sounds like Billy Joel's 'River of Dreams'. Especially the chorus. Weird. 


10 - Relient K - Five Score and Seven Years Ago (2007)
More Relient K! I think this album is my favourite of theirs. I love every song on this one, too. But it has a broader, slightly more mature sound than MMHMM. Like I said, there are no bad songs, anyone who likes rock music should listen to the whole thing. But I don't want to take too long, so I'm just going to list the most noteworthy ones.
The Songs: As I explained in this blog post, Up and Up has a very personal meaning to me. It gives me hope and makes everything seem like it's going to be OK. For that reason, I say it's my favourite. But there's also:
Must Have Done Something Right, which was one of the first Relient K songs I ever heard. It opens with "We should get jerseys, cos we make a good team. But yours would look better than mine, cos you're out of my league", and just gets cuter from there. 
Similarly adorable is The Best Thing, one of my favourite love songs, which contains the lyric "When I looked into your eyes, and you dared to stare right back, you should have said 'nice to meet you, I'm your other half'". It's about a guy in love who just wants to share that feeling with the world. (Side note: That lucky girl was staring into some incredibly gorgeous eyes. Go watch the 'Must Have Done Something Right' video to see what I mean.) 
Devastation and Reform and I Need You are really intense and make me want to drive really really fast, and that is the reason I do not listen to this CD in the car! 
Crayons Can Melt On Us For all I Care needs to be mentioned because it's hilarious. Listen to it. You'll see why the lyrics aren't included on the liner notes. 

11 - Rob Thomas - Cradlesong (2009) 
He's technically also on here twice, because he's the lead singer and songwriter of Matchbox Twenty, but this is his solo album. It's kind of a similar sound to MB20, but also different because while their songs all very clearly belong together, his cover a more broad range of sounds, which is what makes this album so good. This is another one that I can't find a weak link to.
The Songs: Wonderful popped into my head as a favourite right away, because it's so powerful and there are brass instruments involved. The lyrics are that classic struggle of changing yourself to suit other people. I mean "No, I can't be myself, and I can't be nobody else- but if I could, would you love me then?" It lives up to its name, I promise. 
There are some good rock songs on here - Still Ain't Over You is probably the best representation. Hard, driving guitar, verses that kind of 'sneak up' on an intense chorus - it's got everything I like.
If you're in the mood for a good cry, I recommend either Snowblind or Someday. Or either of the other two I just thought of. Just go listen to the whole thing. 

12 - OneRepublic - Waking Up (2011) 
I picked up this album on impulse, and boy am I glad I did. Other than the beautiful albeit so-common-it's-ridiculous 'Apologize', and the fact that Ryan Tedder is adorable and wears a fedora and looks adorable doing it, I hadn't really paid much attention to OneRepublic. Until one day I walked into HMV, and they had a 2-for-15$ sale going on so I grabbed this one too because I really liked 'Good Life'. I ended up liking this one better than the CD I went in there to buy*.
The Songs: As mentioned before, Good Life is an amazingly happy song and always puts a smile on my face and makes me want to twirl around in the middle of an open field. 
However, I think my favourite here would have to go to All This Time, because it's so slow and beautiful, in both lyrics and melody. If seven-year-old me hadn't already chosen 'Just the Way You Are' as my wedding song, seventeen-year-old me would have picked this one in a heartbeat. 


Honorable mentions (that didn't make the cut either because I don't know/like enough of the songs, or just weren't quite old enough). I'm too lazy to link to all these ones, just search Youtube. 

Phil Collins - ... Hits - 'Easy Lover' ft. Philip Bailey or 'Against All Odds' - One's happy, the other sad, go figure.


Simple Plan - Still Not Getting Any... - 'Shut Up!' So angsty, so classic SP

Panic! At the Disco - A Fever You Can't Sweat Out  - 'I Write Sins not Tragedies' because duh. HOWEVER I think 'But it's Better if You Do' is just as good and has a better video. 'Camisado' is good too. 

Fall Out Boy - Infinity On High - 'Thnks Fr th Mmrs'. Always.

Coldplay - Mylo Xyloto - 'Charlie Brown' Another one of my favourite happy songs!! 

*Foster the People - Torches - 'Don't Stop/Colour on the Walls' or 'Helena Beat'  (This is the other album I bought along with Waking Up - I only like it SLIGHTLY less, and every song is great, but the reason I like it is more entertainment than actual sentimentality, which is why I didn't include it. It's still an awesome, fun album).

On What Remembrance Means to Me

Today is November 11th. If you're from the United States, that means it's Veteran's Day. If you're British or Canadian (like me) that means today is Remembrance Day.

When I was little, my mother always taught me the importance of wearing a poppy and being silent to honour this important day. If it fell on a weekend, we would go to the cenotaph and see all the veterans and the pipes being played. If it was a weekday, we would have an assembly in school where someone would read 'In Flanders Fields'.

As I grew older, I never lost that feeling of solemness on Remembrance Day. I would wear my poppy, without fail, over my heart until it fell off. But I began to notice that not everyone my age paid the same respect to November 11th as I did.

I've always loved history. I would read books on World Wars 1 and 2 and absorb facts and names and dates and places. I spent hours staring at black-and-white pictures of young men in uniform and wondering to myself who they were, and if they ever came home. To many of the other kids, the 65 thousand Canadians killed in World War 1 were just statistics. They weren't real, they didn't mean anything. To me, they were very real and it made me horribly sad because I felt like I knew them, as much as anyone can 'know' a person (real or fictional) that they've only read about.

When I reached high school, the yearly assembly was just a nuisance to many of the students - they didn't want to sit still in a dark room for an hour and a half. One year I heard a boy tell his friend that he'd taken off his poppy and thrown it out because it 'was annoying' that it kept pricking him. I couldn't believe that someone would be so shallow and disrespectful; that he'd be so irritated by the tiny pinprick that he would disregard that it stood for something much larger and more important than himself, or any of us. I wanted to turn around in the hallway and tell him that pinpricks are nothing compared to bullets or landmines or mustard gas. That hundreds of thousands of people had suffered and died because they loved and believed in their country and in the world - and yet he didn't think remembering them was worth the inconvenience.

Even those who didn't die were changed forever by what they experienced. They may have lost limbs, or their eyesight, or had less visible scars. Seeing their friends get blown up or shot in front of them leaves lasting devastating marks on their mind and their emotions. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) was not really recognized until after World War 1, and as a result, many soldiers who returned home didn't get the help they needed and suffered 'shell shock' for years afterward. They were never quite the same.

World War one began over a hundred years ago. Today, there are no living people who saw combat during this war, and very few who were at home while it was happening. Veterans of the Second World War are dwindling in numbers every year, and during my lifetime, I know they'll all be gone too. So every year we are left with fewer living reminders of why we have this day. And many of the younger generations (such as mine, or my sisters') don't have parents or even grandparents who were around at that time and can remind us of the significance. These wars shaped world history, and many of us seem to have forgotten that.

My mom told me once about one of my grandfather's distant relatives who fought in World War 1, whose wife was supposed to meet him when he was in England on leave. He wound up being delayed and she had to return to Canada before he got there. A few months later, he went missing during the Battle of Vimy Ridge and was presumed to have died without seeing her ever again. Not only is that story sad, but it made me think about all the families and possible lives that never came to be. If he'd survived and returned home, I might have distant cousins on that branch of my family tree. But instead it just ends with his name.

Something else we forget is how the statistics we read about in history books were people, just like us. They had homes, and childhoods, and parents and siblings and many of them had spouses and even children. They had favourite foods and pets and hopes and dreams just like we do. They had names and faces and people who loved them and missed them. They weren't just members of a regiment who fought at a certain battle, they weren't just part of a number. They were human beings. And while some politicians argue that many wars are unnecessary, that's not the point here.

We can't change history. We can't bring these people back. But what we can do, and we absolutely must do, is remember them. Thank them for all they did for the country that we love, and respect their memories. Learn from the mistakes of the past so that history doesn't repeat itself. Because if we don't do that, then everything they did, all that they fought and sacrificed and died for will have been pointless. And that would be the worst tragedy of all.
Lest We Forget.

Newtown: Four months later. Something needs to be done!!

Today, while reading various things on Tumblr like I tend to do, I came across something Wil Wheaton reposted that moved me to tears. And then it made me angry. It was an excerpt from a letter written to the US Congress by a woman whose two children attended Sandy Hook school and, fortunately, survived the shooting. You can read it here: http://newtownaction.org/letter-from-sandy-hook-mom/
She tells how her children, ages six and eight had to face their friends, classmates and teachers being massacred. They were happy little girls whose innocence was ruined by a sick man with a gun. The younger of the two was in one of the classrooms closest to the entrance of the school and heard the shooting and the screaming on the other side of the wall. She now suffers from severe PTSD and has nightmares, is afraid of loud noises, and doesn't want to go outside.
The biggest tragedy to happen since Newtown, however, is the fact that innocent little lives were lost or changed forever, and yet nothing has changed. Why? I don't even know where to begin. 'Red tape', mostly. And I don't want to discredit myself by sounding like a conspiracy nut, but it's true. Obama said from day one that a serious change needed to be made. He wants for there to be a difference, for needless slaughter like this to never ever happen again.
TV and news pundits from Jon Stewart (a man I both enjoy and respect) to Peirs Morgan have said, entirely sombrely, that it's time to do something serious. In fact, they said it after the last massive tragedy - in the movie theater in Aurora, Colorado - after the Virginia Tech massacre in 2007, after Columbine and countless others.
And if you're good with your history, you will know that the Columbine massacre will have its 14th anniversary this month. Since then, there have been more mass murders by firearm than at any other time in US history. And the majority of these have been in supposedly 'safe' public places - theaters, malls, and most tragically, schools. The majority of those killed didn't even know their murderer, they just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
3 of the 4 worst school shootings in US history have happened within the last 2 decades (with the exception of the 1966 University of Texas sniper attack by Charles Whitman, who killed 16 people). And there is a reason for this pattern - guns. The accessibility to guns has become much more relaxed in recent years, and the weapons are more powerful than ever before. I'm no expert, but I do know that the shooter at Newtown only had to reload a few times in the process of killing dozens. And I also know that, if his gun had a smaller magazine, he would have had to reload more frequently, and there would have been more time for his potential victims to hide, escape, protect themselves, or even stop him, as some staff so bravely tried to do.
I am well aware that in my last blog about this tragedy, (read it here: http://whatithinkaboutanythingandeverything.blogspot.ca/2012/12/tragedy-dedicated-to-victims-of-newtown.html) I said that guns weren't even the issue, because they don't kill people on their own. I have done some thinking since then, and I was partly wrong. While it is true that many guns are inanimate objects that go through their time without harming anyone, the fact of the matter is that they are so readily available that it's far too easy for someone who is mentally disturbed to get their hands on one - even legally. If they're not outlawed altogether, there definitely needs to be a more selective screening process for selling them, and these laws need to be enforced. The Newtown shooter took his mother's legally-obtained weapons and used them on his spree - after killing her. Why was he so easily able to gain access to such destructive weapons? Why did she even have such a collection of killing tools?
There was an additional something disturbing that I noticed right away from reports of the shooting: the low 'injury' number. The reason for this was that his weapon was so high-powered, and the ammunition so deadly, that it didn't simply wound. That thing was not built to hurt people - it was built to destroy them. And it downright sickens me to know that there were children on the receiving end of that firepower.
Which brings us back around to the topic of politics. The 'red tape' blocking real progress from being made. The political 'right' defends fiercely the rights of their citizens to 'bear arms'. Being sane, and a Canadian, I have never understood the necessity that the American forefathers felt to arm every one of their citizens. There are, of course, those rare cases where people actually use a gun to defend themselves from home invaders, or bears - and I'm sure that if I were in a situation like that, I would wish I had a handgun ready to use. But how many times has this been taken to extremes? Trespassers being shot? Treyvon Martin, for example, being killed for looking 'suspicious'? The numbers boggle the mind - but history has shown that the bad cases outweigh those where the gun was beneficial and didn't cause a needless tragedy.
However, the main point of the original article was not even to ban all guns. Perhaps, somewhere down the road, American Congress will come to their senses and realise that bears attacks are not nearly as common these days, and that security systems have come a long way since the 1700s. But until then, let's focus on the bigger issue at hand - assault weapons. The American founders, when writing the Constitution, had never even dreamed these killing machines were possible. When they spoke about 'bearing arms', they were referring to muskets. Neither of the examples I have used make assault weapons necessary. In no way is an assault weapon the only sufficient method of defence from a home invader. In many cases, a simple baseball bat or pepper spray are all that's needed. In short, a small handgun would more than enough. When hunting, it's the same thing! People have caught their dinner for centuries using a bow and arrow, and a single-barrel shotgun would again, be quite sufficient to kill a deer. (Side note: despite the fact that my grandfather hunts, I personally do not condone the sport). So a semiautomatic weapon isn't needed in this case, either.
So why are they even legal? Who knows. My friend told me a story of driving through Pennsylvania with his family and passing a bank that had a sign in their window advertising that they would give a free AK-47 to anyone who opened an account with them. I don't even know where to begin with this. In fact, it's so ridiculous that I am praying it was a joke. Because banks should know the dangers of giving people weapons - approximately 5,000 of them are robbed every year in the United States. And that's just money being lost. We should be all the more concerned when it comes to the lives of children.
Many who oppose gun control make the point that outlawing something does not solve the problem entirely. Unfortunately, this is true. Heroin is illegal around the globe and yet there are still addicts found worldwide. However, it would certainly go a long way in reducing the access the general public has to these weapons.
In Canada, for example, our government requires permits for almost every gun purchased (with the recent exception of rifles and shotguns - a topic that inspired much concern and debate) and has prohibited new licences issued for assault weapons, therefore prohibiting people from obtaining new weapons. In addition, there is a law stating that when the owner of such a weapon has died, and the weapon was not willed to a direct relative, the gun must be turned over to the authorities to be destroyed. The last massive Canadian school shooting occurred in 1989. 14 people were killed at the Ecole Polytechniqe in Montreal, and following that, the federal government passed the Firearms Act which refined the already-strict gun control laws. Since then, gun control has only been a minor nuisance. England has similar policies in place, and they too, have a lower shooting rate than the United States.
So why won't our neighbours south of the border follow suit? Who knows. I can't even start to explain all the reasons it's easy for someone in the US to carry out such a despicable attack. Jon Stewart has tried to explain all the problems facing those creating tougher laws - and all he's really able to do is laugh. The NRA contradicts themselves, politicians say the government wants to take their guns, and therefore their 'freedom' - and then turn around and blame the government for not doing enough to prevent such a tragedy. But those same people get to hug their children each night, and don't have a panic attack from the sound of a balloon popping. They didn't have to watch their teachers and classmates die, or have to see their loved ones relive that day over and over again.
I don't even want to fathom the possibility of this ever happening again, but it begs the question - how much tragedy will be enough to make a difference? How many more innocent people have to die before they decide to change their ways? I don't want to exaggerate, I am sure many members of the NRA and Congress are perfectly nice, logical people, and not the gun-toting rednecks they are made out to be. But they're incredibly stubborn on something that should be so simple. What will it take for them to get it? Many of them have children - maybe their sympathies will be brought out if someone shows them the autopsy photos. Or pictures from the blood-soaked crime scene. Wil Wheaton, in his post, even suggested that Congress have to face the parents, siblings and friends of those who died that day - to have to look them in the eye and tell them why their son or daughter is not with them anymore. Will that be enough to bring change to the world? Maybe. But there shouldn't have to be such drastic measures taken. There is one simple truth at the root of all of this: The right of one person to have a gun does not, and should never, outweigh the right of 20 children to have a future. 
Let's hope something happens before the rest of the world moves on and forgets - or before something even more unspeakable happens. I know I won't forget. This is something that is going to bother me until the day I die. I know I was not directly affected, but that shouldn't matter. Although I know my own country is considerably safer, I still worry that something like this could happen at my school, at my sisters' school, or at the school where my mom works. Assault rifles have no place in a civilized world. Guns have no place in a civilized world. It shouldn't be this difficult to get rid of them and protect the lives of children.
President Obama was right what he said on the day of the shooting. There is a time to mourn - a time which is still ongoing - and there is a time to act. And the time to act has damn well already passed.